candleflames

So I've gone back to school to get an AA and I really like the opportunity for non-child centered conversations I get during the breaks. One class is at night so it's 3 hours long with a break about halfway through. However, it really takes me aback how people still have this anti-nonchristian sentiment. As if there is something inherently diabolical about those who are not of the Judaeo-Christian persuasion.  So during the break some of my fellow students were talking about classes and one of them said something about how in her world religion class if you don't know yourself and what you believe then you can get your head all turned around. That in particular some Goddess figure just was way out there and wow she just couldn't get it. When another student, who had laughed at the term Wiccan when the instructor listed it as one of the religions that make up the vast array of beliefs in the U.S. started to say something about how all those old Pagan Gods could really just mess with your head. 

I had been having a very bad week (from unrelated reasons) and earlier I had heard yet again that it would be best if I just didn't discuss my beliefs with anyone cause it "invites trouble." Now it isn't the belief that is the source of the trouble it is the misconceptions of the ignorant that is the source. When I pointed this out the lady argued with me that that is irrelevant. Her message seamed to be that if you chose to not conform to the societal norm, in this case an acceptable religion, then you are the one with the problem. If you're different you should hide it if you want peace. I am really so sick of this line of thinking. Blame the recipient of X type of harassment because they have the character of X. It has nothing to do with how they live their life or what they do just some part of their being. You could fill in X with anything. 

Anyway back to they guy in my class. I turned around and said "I'm Pagan by the way. Wiccan as a matter of fact." To which he stammered "oh. hey. That's cool." trailing off at the end and putting his head down. I know that couldn't have changed his mind about whatever it is he thinks. I guess it's just a lot easier to rattle off intolerant comments if you don't know your talking about the person in front of you.

I am so stoked. I am running away on friday to Seattle. Eventually I'll come back. Like say sunday.  So to the few people who actually might read this, all two of you, what would be a good club to go to on either friday or saturday night? I have some way cool plans with a friend already but getting to a club would be nice since I do that so rarely now.

I'm pretty sensitive to the sun so at the end of a day  at disneyland the tingling itchy rash that mimics a sun allergy was not so surprising. The twitching, and all over stinging sensation in addition to an itchy rash the that slowly developed the next day was quite bothersome. By the end of the night I couldn't take it anymore and decided to not take my antibiotic and take some benadryl instead. I don't like mixing meds even if the seam to be unrelated. That took care of the itching and the splotches but then I started cramping all over. All kinds of things were going through my mind. Did I overheat myself on sunday? Am I coming down with something? Is this related to the meds I was supposed to be taking? well it turns out that that last question was right on the mark. But then I get stupid. 

Next day I stop taking anything and low and behold by the end of the day I feel better. Not great mind you but better. So here is the dumbass me part. The next day, 3 days later, a full day after feeling better I take another antibiotic. soon the tingling and the rash come back. So call the doc it's got to be the meds. Right? Oh no they don't think so, I've been on them long enough that if I were allergic something would have happen before now. That answer doesn't fly for me I need to be seen now. can I come in this morn? Yep you becha. Kids get some shoes were going to the doc, mommy feels sick and the doctor is going to help me get better. If only it were that simple. My doctor was booked that day so I see the Nurse Practitioner. Between the phone call, the drive and the wait in the office nearly an hour and a half has gone by, so now I'm shaking uncontrollably, starting to twitch, my skin is all blotchy (but not hives), and I feel like I've been rolling in stinging nettle. NP comes in and examines me (checks skin, vitals, reflexes, and responsiveness) and talks to me about symptoms. Decides no it's not an allergy it's a photosensitivity and anxiety. I disagree so what about this and that. hmm she doesn't know. She leaves talks to doc, comes back. They can't place the twitching or the cramping or the shaking with the type of antibiotic I'm on. It must be nerves. Here's something for the rash and another for your nerves stay on the antibiotics. I know that it isn't going to work but I can see that this is going nowhere fast. I take my new meds and all but the stinging subsides until it's time for the next dose of antibiotics when my day went from worse to way fuckedup in exactly 29 mins. I timed it. The doctors office closed early, urgent care wasn't open, and state law prevents the er from giving advice over the phone. 

I did make it to the urgent care where the faerie doctor (her first name means faerie) told me no it's not an allergy and no your not going crazy. I had developed a sensitivity  to the antibiotic which was causing a toxicity. Drink copious amounts of water to flush out my system and not only stop taking the meds but not to take these types of meds again. She even brought in here little pharmaceutical book and showed me that every single one of my symptoms was on the list for toxicity. 

Now I'm feeling much better. Well enough to get pissed. I'm mad at the nurse for dismissing my concerns. I'm mad at my doc for taking the time to see me personally. Mostly I'm mad at myself because I damn well knew better. I knew that they were wrong because I know my body. I knew it was the pills even if I wasn't being listened to. An now I'm wondering if the sulfa meds are anything like the sulfides in foods and wines. And what are the long term effects. Maybe someday I'll count this as a we live we learn. Right now I'm just too pissed.

So yesterday was Bats Day. All in all it was a fun day for the whole family. We hit the rides we absolutely had to make it on at just the right time so our waits were (mostly) minimal. By our third time through Pirates my 5 yr old was so frustrated that Captain Jack was not saying hi to him, I explained that the ride was just pretend. Which broke his little heart even more. I still fell kinda bad about that. 

We ran into friends we don't see often as well as some new people. One of the more fun aspects of the events for me. Though now bits are starting to blur together and I've forgotten some names (again). Not so good with names here. 

I thought I had taken adequate sun protection. Like spf 45 reapplied often, using an umbrella going on indoors rides and having lunch in one of the restaurants. Worked for everyone but me. The stinging and itching is driving me nuts now. Still it's worth it for how well yesterday went.

Some of the biggest laughs were encounters with th other people that go to disneyland. One lady was so insistent the we must be part of some weird religious group she wouldn't drop that particular line of questioning. My we just like being us line of answers seamed to be rather frustrating. A couple of other parents pointed out my kids and did the 'look at how good those kids are, be more like them' lecture to their own kids. I felt a little sorry for those kids (I used to get that lecture a lot), but not so much that a little bit of  a haha attitude crept in. and the plethora of "is it like gothic day or something?' came up. who knew so many people knew that word. I got the rundown of what it's like to go during little peoples day and gay day from one very worldly and tolerant lady.

Last weekend I met my friend at a 21 and up club.  I'm walking up with a group of regulars I met along the way and start to just walk right in. The guy at the door stops me and says, "um, I need to see your ID." So I stop and turn. I'm just standing there blocking the door staring at this guy with what must have been a completely dumbfounded look on my face. My response as I fumbled for my license was "Your gonna card me?! Really!?! OK!!!" By now there's a line, I'm still blocking the door and I think I may have been bouncing. When I got upstairs I had a huge grin and the first thing out of my mouth when I found my friends were, "I got carded." See. dork that's me. The really sad part is I tell every one and then they have to tell me about the time they got carded when they were 30+.

We took the kids and a friend to a couple of museums today. We started at the La Brea tar pits and then it was to the Los Angeles County Museum of Arts. They are right next to each other so we only had to park once. That's always a good thing when heading into L.A. The kids had considerable more fun at the tar pits and and exploring the fossils over all. Inside there were fossil replicas that the kids got to touch and ask questions about. Outside had slow bubbles popping out of the pits and life sized statues of prehistoric animals. Some areas of the art museum captured their attention. Some ares were rather boring to the little ones so they got a little loud and the attendants would pop up and follow us for a bit. In general the older the art the more interested the kids were but Jared seemed to lose himself in the Picasso's. They also enjoyed the neo-classical works, which is where Haven announced that the nude statue had a penis and Aidan said "that's not Satan, it's a dragon." We definitely should have brought more snacks and water. We ran out. Next time we go it'll be a Sunday when they have their family event.

I like the usual arraignment my family and I have. Since most of them live on the other side of the country we talk on the phone a few times a year and forget each other the rest of the time. This year though my dad and step-mom and brother and sister were out here for the holidays. So we spent a beautiful christmas day reveling in all our glorious fuckedupedness. For the first time ever we didn't spend most of the time reminiscing about what a horrible child I was. It's such a shame. I was so looking forward to that part. I got an "oh you're still into that" and "here's money we don't want to go into your freaky stores". Grandma was already sloshed when we arrived, dad got sloshed later. At least I think they were. It can be so hard to tell. Parenting skills got picked apart and much unwanted advice was given by our grand matriarch. Step-mom dished out her veiled complaints of my not keeping in contact with her family. I tried to explain the phones and roads go both ways for a reason. I don't think she got it. I did learn two things over the holidays. Telling know-it-all family members to shove it eventually does work and dad's allowed in California again. We should do this again sometime. In a decade or two.